Do you Suffer from this "Disease" too?

SO MANY people I encounter these days suffer from the same "disease" that is impacting our families, our work performance, our emotional health.  So what is it?  Arguments could be made that the same impact can be felt from depression or anxiety but I'm talking about something more insidious.  Something we actually convince ourselves can be a POSITIVE thing.  So what am I talking about?

 

People Pleasing 

 

It's a constant struggle for me. At home, with family, at work, at church. Everywhere. I've posted a lot about my Spinning Plates.  It is occurring to me lately that many of those plates are present because of this disease of people pleasing.  If I say "no" to a request, will I hurt her feelings?  Will he think I'm not committed enough?  Will my kids think I'm a horrible mom when they think back on this day?  Will the school think I'm an absentee working parent?  All those questions remind me of the poem Elaine recently recited in a school play . . .

 

(c) Shel Silverstein

 

While these "What Ifs" seem pretty silly, those what ifs swirling in my head seem SO RELEVENT y'all.  The list of "What Ifs" goes on and on and on and on . . . .  but the gist of every question is the same - will that person be displeased by the answer I really want to give?  More importantly will that person be displeased by the answer I NEED to give to protect my time, my family, my sanity?

 

It all comes down to PEOPLE PLEASING.  But who should I be aiming to please? Not me. Not other humans. We're fallible. We're broken. I need to please Jesus, only Jesus. What does He ask of me? Just to sit at his feet. Some people get it apparently but most of us don't. What would that feel like, to just sit at the feet of God? He wants to fill me up (see?). He wants good things for me (definitely). Why do I think I have to do, dO, DO and please others to be enough? To be loveable? To be worthy? Is it because I can't fully understand that I truly don't have to earn His forgiveness, His grace? It's ok to not understand fully but I have to trust that it is enough. Am I willing and ready to experience something amazing I can't fully understand?  Will I let my fears, my sense of inadequacy prevent Him from filling me up just because I don't "get it" completely?

 

What am I already missing because of this reluctance? As much as I love writing, I'm already limiting myself. I have slowed down in how often I write and in how often I post on this blog.  I sat on the TKP education post for more than 2 weeks. Why? Because I doubt others want to read it, need to read it. Maybe it's repetitive. Maybe someone else can or has said it better. But if God has called me to write it, even if only for myself, isn't that enough? I don't know why He gave me those words but I don't have to fully understand why He did. I just need to rest in His love and acceptance.  Will you set aside your own people pleasing and join me?